Single & Sex
- Jasmine Tiara
- Jan 18, 2018
- 3 min read

Being single is hard for many people because as humans, we crave the feelings of being wanted and loved. The difference between being wanted and being loved is black and white, but often we confuse the two. We say that we love someone when really, we just want to keep them in our lives because they've given us that sense of comfort for awhile now. Sadly, this feeling can destory who you are and who you're becoming, but you typically don't find this out until it's too late and you're going through a breakup.
Sex
People usually tell us to wait because God wants us to, but there is so much more that goes into that time frame during the season of singleness. When we lay down with someone, whether or not they're a random, boyfriend, or girlfriend, we allow pieces of us to be released every time we come. Yea I know, that's inappropriate, but it's real. We open up our spirit and soul each and every time, not even aware of what's going through their head or heart in that moment. You become more vunerable when you release those hormones. To whomever and where ever, you allow that person to take a piece. Waiting has more to do with you than it does with you finding the one.
A Break
It's almost like fasting. When you fast, you deprive your body of things that you usually aren't able to go without. You force your body to exist without these things. As you're going through this, you find your strength, obedience, need to submit, and yourself. You find out what you can do. When you fast from sex, or wait, then you are able to see people for who they truly are. Sometimes you may even become disgusted with them or yourself for not seeing before, what you see now. It's like looking back at an old ex and thinking, "What the hell?!" I lived in the same house for months with my ex and not having sex turned him into the person that he really was; a liar and cheater.

Craving sex is only a desire. Each and every time you give in, you break a piece of your strength off and pass it out to people who could care less in the end. Relationships end, one night stands end, flings end, and then what? You find the next one? You find the next one only to find out that this too will end soon, and how soon? It's tiring. When you're in the house on a weekend, it's convenient to have somebody around. It's convenient to have a nice little night of romance. It's convenient to feel a warm body next to you, but is it worth you feeling the same feeling the next day of "what is next?" Is it worth feeling like somebody is using your vagina to masturbate, while thinking about someone else in their head? Is it worth stretching out spaces only to feel empty again a few days later and knowing that in order to relieve that feeling, you'll have to refuel again?
Patience is more than simply learning to wait. It is having learned what is worth your time. - JM Storm
In order to get your soul, body, and mind together, you need to take some time to yourself. You need to chill on the pleasure and start creating a plan. You have to fight those urges, not only because you're manipulating your vagina to be and do temporary things with temporary people, but also because God has someone special for you and one day that pleasure can actually mean something. I know it feels good and I know it's hard to just stop, but I also know the feeling of disloyalty and disgust on your wedding night knowing that all I had to do was gain some strength and wait it out a little while longer. Wait, because there was a man out there that wanted my body, soul, and spirit because he truly loved me and wanted to prove it by saying I do.

It's not easy, and please by all means click off of this link if this is not for you, but I believe that EVERYONE deserves "the one" and they're out there just waiting. If your boyfriend can't wait then he's not the one. It's no excuses either because I've literally heard them all! Was I about to wait on them to propose? No, because each and every time, they turned out to be liars, cheaters, manipulators, and narcissist who knew that what I gave them felt good, but what were they giving me besides headaches and pregnancy scares? Yea... wait.
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