Remember that you are a flower and yes, you can bloom wherever you are planted, but what if the soil that you're in was never created for you? - Jasmine Tiara
At this point in your life, you typically see everyone getting married. You see the ceremonies and the glitz and glamour, but rarely do you see some of those marriages fail within the first two years.
Celebrating what you believed to be the best day of your life, and then watching it crumble before you can even exit the honeymoon phase. This is why so many OG's tell us that the glitz and glamour never mattered, but who you were marrying did.
But how do you know? How do you know that this is it? How do you know that not only will he sweep you off of your feet, but he'll also be there literally through sickness and health, till death do us part? Two major things should be considered before tying the knot. These two things also gave us a solid foundation as well.
His Idols
When you marry someone, you marry everything that comes with them. The money or the debt. The secret fantasies or things that he may struggle with. The things that he idolizes whether it be cars, money, sex, drugs, or so on.
The only thing that he should truly idolize is the only thing that will hold your marriage together through thick and thin, God. His relationship with God will show quick when all hell breaks loose, and let me tell you IT WILL. Forever is a long time to be with someone and if they look to worldly things to cure the disease that we all have, they won't last long and neither will the two of you.
If he can put God above everything else, he won't look to sex, money, alcohol, a high, or beating you. He won't use his lows as a reason to try and create a temporary high. He will man up and go to the only person who can help, God.
He will also lead your family in that direction too, and if you know anything about what God can do then you know that the Bible ain't there for just looks. It's your guide. It teaches you how to work through your mistakes, your past, your pain, your faults, and even your good days.
He will ask the OG's for help in saving what you have and not his friends who probably spend all of their money at strip clubs, on bottles, and who sit on Instagram and WORLD STAR for hours.
He won't be worried about a selfie, he'll focus on improving himself. He won't hit you to hide his hurt. He won't even talk down on you to bury his low self-esteem. Even if he's done it before, one time is one too many and if you let it slide that one time, only time will tell when it'll happen again. He will cherish you and see that he found a treasure. He'll also know that one man's trash is another man's treasure and he would live by that, afraid of losing you.
Papa Bear
People say that they don't want to enter a marriage with debt. Think about doctors, lawyers, surgeons, and so on. You think they paid their way through school? I hear that all the time and honestly it's another thing that women tell themselves to hide their insecurities of "what if I don't get married."
He has to be a provider. Now if he's horrible with his money, then he'll be horrible with yours too. He will spend it on nothing and probably expect you to pick up the weight.
If he focuses on designer things, but hasn't invested, put away extra cash, or even used the money to create something of his own, he's confused. He probably thinks that designer clothes will gain more attention, and that's cool until him keeping up with the Jones' interferes with him providing for you and the kids.
If he has it to spend, then good but if he's spending it and hasn't invested in himself or you two, then he doesn't have a vision for anything but a racist designer who will be rich forever while you two are struggling to pay the light bill. Yes, those times will come no matter how much money you have, because life happens and if it's not money, then it's sickness and if it's not sickness, then it could possibly be death. Life happens and if you aren't focused or if you don't have a plan that lines up with God's plan, you will suffer much more than you intend to.
So there's more things that come into play when you're trying to find out if he's the one, but his relationship with his creator will tell you everything you need to know.
If he has a heart for God, then you won't have to chase him, he'll lead you. If he doesn't then you spend forever trying to please a man who's pleasures can only be satisfied temporarily and trust me, you can't compete with the things in this world. Ask a woman who's trying to prove that she's not the side chick, but the main...
Photography by: Rochon Hall
